Finish What You Start

As you know, I posted earlier in the year that I was planning on switching universities and all that jazz because I hated UTSA and didn't want to graduate there, blah blah blah. Well, since then, I've been praying constantly about it and really thinking about what I want to do with my life. After posting about fear a couple weeks ago, I really started thinking... I don't really feel that passion to teach anymore and I know that for everyone it comes and goes, but I haven't felt it for a while. I also know that as much as I want to tackle Music Therapy, I should finish what I started at UTSA.

Finish. That's the scariest word ever. I'm more afraid of finishing a degree and having to be a grown up than switching universities and starting an entirely different program. I'm nervous about actually teaching in a classroom without being able to leave after about 2 hours as I did in observations. I'm terrified of the profession I chose back in 2008 due to all of the changes in the Education system here in Texas. I'm terrified that I won't be good at it when I actually am in the classroom. Learning to teach and teaching are two totally different things. I know it's silly to be afraid of something I've been trained to do for the last FIVE years, but I am terrified. I'm also terrified because of the stories I hear from current [music] teachers.

My mom called me out on it a few months ago. I got so defensive that I don't think we really talked for two days other than "hey", "thanks", "see ya later" and "night". I didn't want to admit that I was scared because I'm an independent girl who can conquer anything. Inside, I was shakin' in my boots. She was right. Mothers are always walkin' around just being right. Don't you hate that? You know they have the best intention when telling you what they think but you don't expect them to actually be right. She was right. I know she's reading this and chuckling, probably thinking, "when are you going to learn, I'm always right?" Love you, mother.

So, I have put the music therapy journey on hold and have decided to conquer what I started in 2008. I applied for Student Teaching and filled out all necessary paperwork. I attended the meeting, I've found dates for all of the tests I'll have to take and I have prepared myself mentally for the road I'm about to take. I'm scared--I admit it. I don't know if I'm more afraid that I don't know how it's going to go or whether or not the money put into college was worth it. I'm also terrified that there won't be many arts programs left after I graduate. Regardless, I'm finishing what I started and I'm proud of that choice. I'm scared (as I've said a million times) but I'm a strong woman who can conquer the world. I got this, right?

Commitment is doing what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in has left you.

Smoothie Addiction

Jamba Juice.

I felt like that needed it's own line. A friend of mine, Allyce, told me about Jamba Juice a couple of months ago. I tried some fruity smoothie and I didn't think it was that great, so the next few times she asked if I wanted anything, I passed. Three days ago, I was driving around the shopping center I work at and decided to pull into Jamba Juice.

**You see, I have recently found my blender and decided I am most likely going to start making my own smoothies and juices (I am also getting a juicer). Not only do I want to make them because I want to be "healthier" but, it's cheaper to do it yourself than to spend money elsewhere. **


I went inside and decided I was going to try something I normally wouldn't. I tried the Apple N' Greens smoothie. Mind=blown. That smoothie was so incredibly delicious. I also got a free energy boost that has no caffeine. OH. EM. GEE. It was green. Usually, if something is a weird color, I'm not going to drink it. I took a baby sip because I was kind of afraid of what it would taste like. I found my soul mate :) (that sounds incredibly dramatic, but it was just that delicious).

I went back to Jamba Juice again that evening before work and then yesterday before bible study. I'm addicted. Therefore, I did some research and recipe searching and when I was at the grocery store today, I bought stuff to make my own smoothies because $5.72 a smoothie is TOO MUCH for this poor girl. I'm going to make a homemade smoothie in just a bit. Hopefully it's delicious. Even if it isn't, I'm going to post the recipe and pictures to prove I tried it. Without pictures, life is not validated.

Wish me luck! I'm being resourceful!
January is turning out to be pretty great so far.

Marathon Madness

This past Sunday was the Rock n Roll Marathon in San Antonio. A few people I knew were running in the marathon, but I didn't realize how big of a deal this marathon was until I got to work. I am a receptionist at Massage Envy, so I'm pretty used to seeing runners come in and get a massage after a race. When I got to work, there were quite a few people who had just taken part in this marathon who had thought ahead and made an appointment to get a massage. Then, the phone was ringing constantly with people who were looking for any open appointments for the same issues. I also looked on twitter and a few of my friends posted pictures of just how many people were downtown for the marathon. Woah. I thought to myself, that would be cool to take part in such an event.

The next day, I was hanging out with my mom watching TV when we decided it was the perfect time of day to take our two dogs for a walk. We both could lose a few and my dog, Samantha, is an overweight beagle--so there would be no harm done to anyone involved. :) We went around the "big block" surrounding our neighborhood and it took us about an hour. We weren't walking very quickly and it wasn't aimed at being a "brisk walk", but we got in some walking. After we got home, my mom called me into her office and told me that next year, we will be participating in the Rock n Roll marathon. At first, I was like...are you crazy?! and then I took a minute and decided that was a really good goal for us to set.

We haven't yet decided whether we will be participating in the full or half marathon. We have an entire year to train...but at the same time, we've never competed in any kind of race (except my very little amount of time invested in track back in high school), so the half may be the better choice. So, when I make the choice, I will let you know.

I told one of my friends that I was considering doing it and he told me he'd train with me, so I was pretty excited. Then, when I came to work last night, a couple more of my coworkers said that they would also train with me. So, now that I had a good amount of accountability partners, I was stoked. I haven't yet decided which training plan that I will follow, but I'm researching it now. I'm trying to find friends who really enjoy running and who could give me good and helpful tips for training. I don't want to jump into a crazy running schedule if it isn't something that's attainable, you know? So, I need someone who will give honest advice to me.

I've decided that no matter which I decide to do, half or full, that it is a commitment that I must stick with. Commitment means doing what you said you would do, long after the mood you said it in has left you. I'm hoping that since I've found a few good friends to do this with, that we can hold each other accountable.

So, for now, I'm simply researching training schedules. I'm pretty sure (since it only take 18-20 weeks to really train) I will start training to do the training schedule to then prepare me for the marathon, haha. Couch to marathon style! I am going on Friday to buy some running shoes. I am hoping that if I buy those shoes, that I will remind myself that it's worth it. Wish me luck! Feel free to check in on me and see how I'm doing. I will post about my progress. I'm excited. Nervous. But, excited.