Teacher Appreciation Week

It was brought to my attention that this upcoming week is teacher appreciation week :) I want to take a minute to brag on some of my favorite teachers in the entire world! Sorry it's kinda long...

Ms. Seiffert was my middle school choir teacher. Talk about pure awesomeness. This woman is incredibly talented and incredibly skilled at teaching children to read music. I owe my amazing hand sign and solfege abilities to her. She took chances on all of her students and made us love choir. Sure, we were singing Jeepers Creepers and doing silly dances, but mad respect to this woman. She was always incredibly dedicated and engaged in her classes and all of her students. She knew all of our names and what voice part we sang! She took me to my first musical and I had a blast. I learned to love music in her class. I'll never forget the days of wearing those big red taffeta dresses or the Zachry Singer's sequenced vests :) Thank you for your dedication and your love of teaching!

Ms. Slough (Burkholder) was my freshman high school choir director. Love. This. Woman. I remember my first day of class in Prep Choir and I loved every minute of her class. I already loved music, but somehow, I learned and loved it more every day. She was such a blessing and was such a role model for me, especially in my faith. I saw that it was okay to be a christian and to embrace, but better yet, to use my talent for the glory of God. She only taught me for a year, but the lessons still apply to this day. I sang in her wedding and now I watch her sing on Sundays at church. I will never forget that first year of high school and all the memories we share. Thank you for being awesome :)

Mr. Rogers was my choir director from Sophomore year to Senior year. I'll have to admit, I did not think we would get along well when he first started. Hormonal teenagers and a new teacher don't mix well! I was incredibly surprised at the immediate connection he made with all of us. We had so much fun in choir, especially Jazz Choir. I'll never forget Zombie Jamboree! He helped me manage my time and to find the time to practice for Region/Pre Area/Area auditions and that helped a lot. He helped a girl who couldn't sight read for anything become fairly good at it! I learned a lot of life lessons in his classroom and under his guidance. It was awesome for me to have him attend my senior recital! Thank you for always being a constant source of encouragement.

Dr. Mabry was my voice teacher from my Junior year in high school to my Senior year in college. Woah. He has taught me so many lessons in a musical sense, but in a life sense as well. I was a shy little soprano who was afraid to sing in front of anyone at the beginning of my journey at UTSA. Now, I'm a loud, confident soprano who loves to sing at every chance I get. He helped me get through Randy's death and helped me to get back up and keep going even when it was the hardest possible thing in the world to do. He always seems to know the right thing to say! Thank you for always encouraging me and pushing me  to do better-I always did do better. Meeting your challenges were some of my greatest accomplishments. This man helped me make the Texas All-State Choir and semi-final/final in the NATS competition each time I competed. Thank you for being the greatest voice teacher a girl could ask for.

Dr. Kelly was my theory teacher and 20th century analysis teacher at UTSA. This woman helped me go from knowing barely anything related to music theory to being able to successfully complete a matrix. Boo ya. She challenged me to do better and always took the time to make sure I understood EVERYTHING, which if you remember, took a long time. She made me confident enough to take that proficiency test that we all feared. I'd walk into her office probably every other day with questions, and she would patiently explain everything to me so that I understood. She taught me never to give up to study, study, study! She is awesome. She made me love theory-and that was an impossible task four years ago. My favorite memory is of her  calling me into her office after a voice lesson with Dr. Mabry (right across the hall) and saying, "Was that a D you sang in your lesson? That's intense, right on." Thanks for everything you do Dr. Kelly!

Notice how all of these teachers are music teachers? Now I'm about to student teach to be one of them! I really hope that I can make a difference in just one student's life the way that each of them have made on my life, as well as many others. I've had plenty of encouraging teachers and I will be forever grateful.

I also want to recognize two other teachers who mean the world to me: My sister and my best friend.

My sister, Amanda, is a second grade teacher a charter school here in San Antonio and has a very rough batch of kids. She really hates going to work and doesn't feel like she's doing a good enough job when she's teaching. She is an awesome teacher. She is an awesome woman. She's discouraged easily and I hope she never loses sight of her God given talent to teach. She taught me when I was growing up and she will continue to teach her children, as well as others. Although this is her last year teaching, she's going to rock at teaching her own kids. She's a brave woman and I'm so glad she's my sister. She's been a constant encouragement and example as to what kind of teacher I want to be. Love you Mandy :)

Last, but certainly not least, Kathryn :) She is an awesome teacher. We were students at UTSA together, one year apart. She graduated in December of 2011 and has almost completed her first year of teaching in Lincoln, Nebraska. I want to be in her class, haha. She tells me the stuff that she teachers her students, and I LOVE her classroom. This uncrafty gal has turned in to quite the crafter. She cares so much about her kids, even when they irritate her. She's a great example of what I want to be. I'm so glad she's made it this first year, not only in Nebraska, but as an awesome elementary music teacher. I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished!

OK, that's all I have for now. Too many people to appreciate :) I'm so excited to had the opportunity to work with all of these wonderful teachers. I cannot wait to make a change in a student's life the way these men and women have changed mine. :) Yay teachers!!

Finish What You Start

As you know, I posted earlier in the year that I was planning on switching universities and all that jazz because I hated UTSA and didn't want to graduate there, blah blah blah. Well, since then, I've been praying constantly about it and really thinking about what I want to do with my life. After posting about fear a couple weeks ago, I really started thinking... I don't really feel that passion to teach anymore and I know that for everyone it comes and goes, but I haven't felt it for a while. I also know that as much as I want to tackle Music Therapy, I should finish what I started at UTSA.

Finish. That's the scariest word ever. I'm more afraid of finishing a degree and having to be a grown up than switching universities and starting an entirely different program. I'm nervous about actually teaching in a classroom without being able to leave after about 2 hours as I did in observations. I'm terrified of the profession I chose back in 2008 due to all of the changes in the Education system here in Texas. I'm terrified that I won't be good at it when I actually am in the classroom. Learning to teach and teaching are two totally different things. I know it's silly to be afraid of something I've been trained to do for the last FIVE years, but I am terrified. I'm also terrified because of the stories I hear from current [music] teachers.

My mom called me out on it a few months ago. I got so defensive that I don't think we really talked for two days other than "hey", "thanks", "see ya later" and "night". I didn't want to admit that I was scared because I'm an independent girl who can conquer anything. Inside, I was shakin' in my boots. She was right. Mothers are always walkin' around just being right. Don't you hate that? You know they have the best intention when telling you what they think but you don't expect them to actually be right. She was right. I know she's reading this and chuckling, probably thinking, "when are you going to learn, I'm always right?" Love you, mother.

So, I have put the music therapy journey on hold and have decided to conquer what I started in 2008. I applied for Student Teaching and filled out all necessary paperwork. I attended the meeting, I've found dates for all of the tests I'll have to take and I have prepared myself mentally for the road I'm about to take. I'm scared--I admit it. I don't know if I'm more afraid that I don't know how it's going to go or whether or not the money put into college was worth it. I'm also terrified that there won't be many arts programs left after I graduate. Regardless, I'm finishing what I started and I'm proud of that choice. I'm scared (as I've said a million times) but I'm a strong woman who can conquer the world. I got this, right?

Commitment is doing what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in has left you.

Book Club?

I love to read. Plain and simple.
Ever since I was old enough to read, I've enjoyed it. When I was younger, we had a Sega Saturn-which was cool. My mom had a rule though-for every hour of playing, we had to read for an hour. And, you couldn't use a bank of hours, haha. For instance, if I read for 4 hours today, she wouldn't just let me play for 4 hours straight. Point being, reading was an incentive which then became a hobby.

Maybe the love of reading resulted from the fact that we only ever had a Sega Saturn and that after it broke, we didn't have another video gaming option. Anyway, you get the point that I just love to read.
In high school I kind of forgot about my love of reading since we were required to read a lot of books that I didn't necessarily care for. But, once I cracked open my copy of 1984 by George Orwell, I was hooked.

I had never really thought about a book club until recently. This is going to a be a total geek Sim moment, but, in the Sims you're character can sign up for a book club--they receive a book every Wednesday and there you go! But, not only did the Sims encourage me, my dad did. A couple of weeks ago, I drove to Big Spring and got to see my family. My dad sent me home with three books and said it was a really good series and I should read it. He then said something about him being in a book club and that it was the best way to get books cheaper.

Also, Pandora (which I listen to every morning when I'm getting ready) always shoots the ad out that says, "the best place to start a book club is with the book So You Want to Start a Book Club?" I've made the decision that I want to start a book club. I love to read and I love to talk about books--yes, I'm a nerd. I'm okay with that.

I'm excited about my idea and I'm not sure where it's going, but, I'm going to start a book club. Go me.

One Day Road Trip

On Friday, my dad's grandmother Gordie passed away. She was 93 years old and lived a great long life. I was very eager to hear about the plans for the information about the service so that I could make arrangements. My dad and his entire family live in West Texas (Big Spring), so it would be great to see everyone and to celebrate her life.  My dad let me know on Sunday night that the funeral would be on Monday at 2. That was not what I was expecting, but I was off Monday, so I decided I would go. My mom made me go to bed at a decent hour so I wouldn't be falling asleep on the way there.

I left at 7:15 AM yesterday on my 4 1/2 - 5 hour drive to middle-of-nowhere Big Spring, Texas. Of course, I got some Starbucks before I left :) Coffee is a life saver. I made extremely good time at almost exactly 4 1/2 hours. I changed and met up with my family--I hadn't seen that side of the family for about a year (some even longer) and I was excited to fellowship with them. We all headed over to the funeral home to gather together before the service. My great grandmother looked so peaceful and it made me glad that she is in a better place. My grandma asked me to sing for the family, so I sang Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin.  It's crazy, I've been singing in front of them for years and I still get nervous, especially yesterday.

After we all met at the funeral home, we went to the graveside for the service. It was very short and sweet (grandma said that's the way she would have wanted it). My dad, two uncles and my grandma sang Victory in Jesus and it was delightful. It's as if she was in the room celebrating her own life. It was so wonderful. Now, I don't have many memories of my great grandmother, but hearing everything about her, I wish I had more. She was an awesome woman and her faith in Christ is inspiring. Heaven was definitely celebrating because they got an awesome new member :) I'm so glad I was able to make it!

I then, drove back home after the funeral. NINE HOURS IN ONE DAY. It's not that big of a deal, but needless to say, I was tired when I got home. It was such a fabulous day. God has blessed me in so many ways, and I am awed in a new way every day.

Amazing grace,
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me?
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see. 

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed. 

My chains are gone, 
I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace. 

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word, my hope secures. 
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures. 

My chains are gone, 
I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, 
The sun forbear to shine.
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
Will be forever mine. 
You are forever mine. 

Smoothie Addiction

Jamba Juice.

I felt like that needed it's own line. A friend of mine, Allyce, told me about Jamba Juice a couple of months ago. I tried some fruity smoothie and I didn't think it was that great, so the next few times she asked if I wanted anything, I passed. Three days ago, I was driving around the shopping center I work at and decided to pull into Jamba Juice.

**You see, I have recently found my blender and decided I am most likely going to start making my own smoothies and juices (I am also getting a juicer). Not only do I want to make them because I want to be "healthier" but, it's cheaper to do it yourself than to spend money elsewhere. **


I went inside and decided I was going to try something I normally wouldn't. I tried the Apple N' Greens smoothie. Mind=blown. That smoothie was so incredibly delicious. I also got a free energy boost that has no caffeine. OH. EM. GEE. It was green. Usually, if something is a weird color, I'm not going to drink it. I took a baby sip because I was kind of afraid of what it would taste like. I found my soul mate :) (that sounds incredibly dramatic, but it was just that delicious).

I went back to Jamba Juice again that evening before work and then yesterday before bible study. I'm addicted. Therefore, I did some research and recipe searching and when I was at the grocery store today, I bought stuff to make my own smoothies because $5.72 a smoothie is TOO MUCH for this poor girl. I'm going to make a homemade smoothie in just a bit. Hopefully it's delicious. Even if it isn't, I'm going to post the recipe and pictures to prove I tried it. Without pictures, life is not validated.

Wish me luck! I'm being resourceful!
January is turning out to be pretty great so far.

One Day in the Dillard's Parking Lot...

Last week, I went to church for the first time in a long while. I couldn't put off going to church one more week. So, since it was daylight savings and all, I went to bed early and got up to go to the early bird service! I was pretty proud of myself.

Once I got to church, I sat about midway back. The music started to play and I was having a good time. Then, of course, the awkward church meet and greet took place. I'm already an awkward person so this made it much more awkward for me. I was ready to sit down and take notes! I did just that.

Although I believe that mission work is really important, I don't think we must go to a foreign place to do mission work. San Antonio has plenty of people to reach in the midst of our daily routines. Our purpose on earth is to do God's work in all that we do. The pastor kept asking, "what's your story?" It made me really think back to when I accepted Christ and how it happened. He also asked where we could share our stories. He wanted each of us to turn to our neighbor and tell them where our one place we knew we could share our story was...I just drew a blank. I sat there trying to figure out a place to say, but couldn't think of anything. Thankfully, no one turned to me.

Later that week, I was sitting at work (I'm a receptionist at a massage clinic) talking to a few coworkers and my story came up. I couldn't help but smile because obviously, God knew where I would be able to share my story. This is my story:

When I was a little girl, my grandparents would pick me up on the weekends and take me to church on Sundays with them. They lived 30 minutes away from my house in a small town with an even smaller baptist church. I went to Vacation Bible School every summer and loved going to church. When I was eight years old, I remember I stayed with my grandparents the entire week so I wouldn't miss VBS. Each night at worship, they'd have their invitation, but I just thought deciding that Jesus was my lord and savior would be something I'd have to ask my mother for permission for. So, I left VBS a non Christian. A short time after VBS had ended, my grandparents were going to take me home, but had to stop at the mall first, so Grandma could buy something at Dillard's.

It was pouring down rain, so Paw-Paw dropped her off at the door and we drove around and parked. He asked me what I thought of VBS. I remember telling him I thought VBS was really cool and that Jesus seemed like a cool guy. He told me more about Jesus while we waited for Grandma. I was so intrigued and so excited to hear more about him that I couldn't stop listening. When he asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my lord and savior, I told him I had to ask mom first. He assured me, she would be joyous about my decision. I decided he was probably right and I prayed the prayer right there with my Paw Paw while it was pouring down rain in the Dillard's parking lot.

That story seems silly, but it means so much to me. My paw-paw also had the chance to baptize me in our small baptist church, which is a really cool memory. He has been with me on this journey of faith since the beginning and to me, that's priceless. He shared his story with me 14 years ago that led me to make the best decision I've ever made. Woah.

It really made me proud to tell my story this week. I have many more stories of how my relationship with God and my faith in God have taken me to where I am today that I'm eager to share. I'm proud to be a child of God and a follower of Christ.

And if our God is for us,
then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us,
then what could stand against?

End of the Year Business

Tomorrow is Halloween.
Once Halloween hits, the rest of the year flies by so very quickly.
23 days until Thanksgiving.
43 days until my 23rd Birthday.
54 days until my best friend comes home!!
56 days until Christmas.

Woah. 2013, here we come.

Although Easter is my favorite holiday, I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mom's entire immediate family lives within thirty minutes of me, so I see them quite frequently, but it's so wonderful to have all of us together to EAT and enjoy each other's presence. (That was an extremely long sentence with way too many commas)
Every person makes their "signature dish" and there is an overload of food. Can I tell you just how excited I am to make green bean casserole, pink stuff AND apple pie? Also, my mother makes THE BEST mashed potatoes and deviled eggs. Be jealous. I would be if I had to miss out on all that awesomeness.

This post is not supposed to be about food, but I'm now craving Thanksgiving food.

Anyhow.
The reason I really love Thanksgiving is because it's the time of year when everyone gets sentimental and remembers what they're thankful for. Although we are able to be thankful year round, we use the one day of the year to really be thankful. It brings people back together and relationships are mended. I love it mostly for the fellowship with family and the annual Cowboys football game. I don't care if you're a fan of the Cowboys, just know that I am. I don't care if they lose more than they win--when you're a fan- it means through the good AND the bad.

My 23rd birthday. I feel like after you turn 21 and until you turn 30, you're kind of just acknowledging your birthdays rather than celebrating them. It's not a "milestone" so why get all excited?
My favorite part about birthdays is that my mother (who is my biggest fan) leaves me an opera style happy birthday message on my cell EVERY year. It started when I was a Freshman in college because I had to sing classically in school as a requirement and she found that humorous--therefore mocking me. That very first message became so popular that she does it for me every year. I know not to answer my phone on my birthday, because she cannot sing it if it's not a voicemail--she'll laugh too hard. It's the little things that make it worth while!
I share the same birthday as Frank Sinatra. I would like to attribute my talent to him--so thanks Mr. Oh-so-wonderful-jazz-musician. :)
The only not-so-great thing about my birthday being 13 days before Christmas is that when people give me gifts, they're combined with Christmas presents. (that sounds incredibly selfish, but it used to be a big deal). My sister has a birthday in September...I don't give her a joint present because that's just dumb. I never got a pool party, so give me a present for both, even if it's just a pencil. Something to acknowledge that I was born the same month as Jesus Christ. :-)
I'm really not that greedy, haha. Take that as you will.

Kathryn comes home in 54 days. That may seem creepy that I'm counting the days, but you don't understand. I saw Kathryn on a very frequent basis and these last three months have been incredibly difficult without her. I remember when she dropped me off at the airport and I was about to go to my gate and I lost it. I know I can call her any time and she'll be back and I can visit..but, it's not the same. I drive by her old subdivision and I almost always break down crying. She's my person. Boyfriends can come and go and normal friends are nice, but she's the one person I know I can tell everything to and she still wants to be around. When she comes back, we're going to see Les Miz!! WOOOOOO HOOOOO. Sorry, I'm really excited.
We always give each other the funniest gifts at Christmas. She knows I love Jesus, so she always buys me "Christian gifts" and is so proud when I love them. I always get her something with penguins, because she is obsessed with them. I wish I could give her tabogganning lessons for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I'm extremely excited for her to come home for like a week. :D

That brings us to my second favorite holiday. CHRISTMAS!
This holiday is very sentimental for me. I love church. It doesn't matter which church I go to for the annual Christmas Eve service, it's the fact that I can go anywhere and the same message is being preached. I love hearing about the birth of Christ, it's a beautiful story. I cry every time I hear it.
Also, every Christmas Eve, my mom, my sister and her husband (now my nephew :D) go to my house and open ONE present before bed. It's one of those traditions that you don't really know why you do it, but would be sad if you didn't. When we were kids, we could only pick the smallest present. Now, it doesn't matter because we're adults.
My favorite thing about Christmas (other than Jesus being born) is that feeling when you wake up and you rush out of bed and you're thinking "Oh my gosh, it's Christmas!"
I think of the scene from the original Yours, Mine and Ours when Philip runs through the house yelling "Santa Claus's been here." It's just exciting.
Even when Christmas isn't as "big" as normal, my family has a way of just being together and that being enough. That's my greatest joy.
Family.

People must think I'm strange. I see my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) more than twice a year. More like a million times a year. I can't even begin to think of how awful it would be to have to live more than thirty minutes away to see someone I love. I know people do it all the time and all, but, I love my family. When I was growing up and my single mother worked all the time to provide, the family just kind of came together and took care of us. It's not because they had to, it's because we're family, it's a natural reflex.
I'm so excited for the next couple of months because I get to see my entire family all together. I have incredibly blessed with the family I was given.
Even though I've faced many terrible experiences, the love of my family and of my God keeps me going constantly. I was given a perfect picture of love. We as a family are not perfect, but the imperfections make my life as close as it could be.
Let's end this year on a good note y'all :D
Get ready for the Christmas decorations and crazy shoppers...AND CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO!!

Cancer

In the last year, too many people that  I love have passed due to cancer. In September alone, I lost two very dear family members because of this disease. Cancer is everywhere and it is striking whoever and wherever it wants. To say that I'm frustrated is an understatement.

On November 5th, we will be remembering a beloved man, Randy Clinton. He was such a blessing to me and my family. He was only in my life for ten years, but for those ten years, memories were created that I will never forget. From the bright yellow shirt that he wore to his bug eyed face that he made, he will never be forgotten. One post in my blog is not enough to contribute to this man. His love for life and for people, but mostly for God was incredibly inspiring. The way he loved me even though I wasn't his own gave me hope. I was a witness of what a real man, a good man, was. I miss something different about him almost every day, but I feel him in my heart.
One thing that Randy said during his battle with cancer was that if God's purpose for his life had already been fulfilled, then he was ready to be with God-to go home. That's something I have not yet been able to grasp. It makes sense, of course, but I'm a selfish woman. I don't like letting go, I don't like saying goodbye. I hate the fact that I put up so much resistance when he started dating my mother. I hate the fact that it took me so long to see how good of a man he really was. I love the fact that he never stopped caring about me or loving me, even when I didn't want it, when I was trying to be a hardass.

I had never seen my mother happier, even when they were irritated with each other, it was always better than the memories of her without Randy. He brought out the best in her, and the most humorous version of her. She became a different person to me. I was finally able to really see the blessings bestowed upon me. For once in my life, she finally got to be just the mother, not the father too. I remember the day they got married--it was a very scary day for me. I grew up without a father figure, really, and I didn't want to admit that I needed one. We were always giving each other a hard time, but, he was everything I never had but always wanted. What I always needed.

It's a weird feeling to think he's been gone for an entire year. I can't wait until we meet again.

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

We've all heard this a million times, "It's not what's on the outside that matters." I've never truly paid attention to that phrase until recently. Sure, we all do it. We people watch. Why else do you think People of Walmart is such a great success? Instant judgement at the ready. I had gotten into the habit of simply looking at other people and ruling them out as ugly, losers, too pretty, d-bag, etc.

It's a terrible habit. But, we all do it.
Whether or not you're aware of it, you judge people the instant you see them.
Why?
We are insecure about ourselves.
BINGO.

I went out with a few people last night and I really realized how often I make assumptions about people--their motives, looks, attitudes, etc. I took a step back and decided to really try not to assume things about other people. I took myself out of the driver's seat, I gave up my control. It was awesome. When you let your guard down, you really do benefit, for the most part. You allow other people to get to know you and it's a beautiful thing. That sounds really corny, but, life is too short to have a personal vendetta against the world.

A friend of mine sent me a text that I really needed to read:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."

Woah. Those are the most powerful words I've heard in a long time. I get angry because I have never received apologies for what people have said or done to hurt me, but I'm not hurting them by holding a grudge, I'm hurting myself. It's not an easy thing to just get over those things, but, it's okay to be down in the slumps sometimes, rather than just being angry all the time. 

Like I've said many times before, no one is perfect. That's a really hard concept to grasp. When you look in the mirror and critique yourself, hatred comes out in its purest form. It's easy to pull yourself apart. But, when others complain that their clothes are too tight, you pull ever beautiful compliment you can muster up from the depth of your heart. Why is it so much easier to compliment others, when you deserve the compliments as well? 

I have a goal on my 101/1001 list to make a list of 20 things I like about myself and post them on my mirror so I can see them every day when getting ready. I'm addicted to colorful pens and sticky notes, so I'm going to attack that task tomorrow. Maybe, if you read and repeat something every day, you'll really start believing it. I will let you know how that works out for me! 

The risk of letting your guard down is worth it for the few good outcomes that may happen. If you get knocked down, just get back up again. 

It's worth making mistakes to better your life. Mistakes only happen once, if they happen frequently, they're choices. You know what is good for you and what is not good for you. You can't control everything. So, let someone else take control/lead for a change. 

Perfect

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

You're so mean, 
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.

So complicated, 
Look happy, You'll make it! 
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear, 
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try, 
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

Old Friends, New Conversations

Last night, I went to Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) with my mom and my sister. We are studying Genesis for the entire school year. It's pretty cool, to me. The speaker was talking about crucial conversations that you will have in your life and how to deal with them. Now, the crucial conversation she was talking about was the conversation about creation. Everyone has their very opinionated views on how the Earth was created, but thankfully, that's not what I'm writing about today. Whew, move on.

But it did make me think of the other crucial conversations that will come up in the next few years and with various people. I think one of the biggest crucial conversations that will ever happen is the life story exchange between two people interested in dating/marrying each other. There is a really funny episode of How I Met Your Mother that I thought nailed this.

Baggage.

Everyone has some type of baggage going into a relationship. You never know when the right time is to share yours. All at once? Little by little? It's a conversation I've been afraid of my entire "dating" life. I was chatting with an old friend about this subject and he reminded me that when it's "the one" the baggage isn't going to break the relationship. I know that's an obvious answer, but...it doesn't click in your brain the first time you hear it.

Until I find Mr. Right, I'm going to keep on living as Emily. Yeah, I've got some baggage and some issues, but who doesn't? If people can't handle it, then, no big deal.

There is still not a perfect time in a dating period to have the crucial life story swap conversation, but, face it--it has to happen. Don't flip out about it. Be cool. Their biggest issue  may be that a girl broke his pencil in the fourth grade. No two people have the same issues. Work to understand instead of judge or be freaked out.

Crispy Cheddar Chicken

So earlier in the month, I set out to make four new recipes. One of them, which I was extremely excited about, was Garlic Parmesan oven baked chicken. Well, yesterday, when I had time to make it, I went to the kitchen, got everything out, read the directions and discovered that I could prepare it, but it has to marinate ALL day. Big lesson when cooking/baking...read the recipe beforehand. I was kind of upset because I had to make something else. I went to the recipes board on my Pinterest and found the recipe for Crispy Cheddar Chicken. I read the recipe twice to make sure I had everything and it didn't have to sit all day. Done!

Crispy Cheddar Chicken

This is the picture from my Pinterest board that made me want to make it. Looks so delicious! I'm glad I have leftovers. Well, I took some pictures along the way and, it's a super easy recipe--shall we?

Crispy Cheddar Chicken
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Baking Time: 45 minutes
Makes about 7 servings

What you'll need:

Chicken
4 large chicken breasts
2 sleeves of Ritz crackers
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/8 teaspoon of pepper
1/2 cup of milk
3 cups of cheddar cheese, grated (I used a mix of cheddar and Colby jack...I really like cheese)
1 teaspoon of dried parsley

Sauce
1 10 ounce can of Cream of Chicken soup
2 Tablespoons of sour cream
2 Tablespoons of butter

***I used frozen chicken breasts, so I had to defrost them before starting. And, when you use frozen chicken breasts, there is added water, so it will need to be coated in more of the Ritz cracker mix to be super crispy.

Chicken:

1. Cut each chicken breast into 3 large chunks
2. In a small food processor, grind up the Ritz crackers (If you don't have a food processor or don't like your cracker mix so fine, put the Ritz crackers in a gallon sized Ziploc bag, seal it really tight, lay it on the counter top and roll it with a rolling pin)
3. Pour the milk, cheese and Ritz crackers into 3 separate small pans.
4. Add the salt and pepper to the cracker mix and and mix it up
5. Spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray
6. Dip each piece of chicken in the milk, then the cheese and finally the cracker mix (some cheese will come off in the cracker mix, that's to be expected)
7. Lay chicken in the pan
8. Sprinkle the dried parsley over the chicken
9. Cover pan with foil and bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes
10. Remove foil and bake uncovered for 10 minutes, or until it's golden brown and crispy

Sauce:

In a medium size sauce pan, whisk together the soup, sour cream and butter until hot. 

***I also made HEB's jasmine rice to go along with this. That only takes 15 minutes to cook and it is delicious! I added green onions to the rice to give it more flavor. 

Overall this recipe was DELICIOUS! But, there is a lot of cheese and cracker mix left over at the end. So, if you plan on making this for a big family event, only double the milk, chicken and sauce mixture. The cheese and cracker mix have plenty to do double. I would make extra gravy anyway because I love gravy and put it on my rice and my chicken. Yum-o. 

I'm really glad my first Pinterest recipe was successful. It was super easy and super delicious. Try it!
Also, I'm really excited to put my very first recipe in my brand new recipe binder! Wahoo!

September 11-Remembering the Tragedy

Last night, I was watching TV and a few 9/11 specials came on--the ones that come on every year, but are just as effective each year as they were the first year they were broadcast. It made me really think about this day 11 years ago. Where was I when the world stopped turning?

11 years ago, I was in sixth grade at Zachary Middle School sitting in Ms. Gray's History class. I remember walking in and taking my seat. Something that day was different. Ms. Gray was white faced and not as excited to see our class as normal. As soon as the bell rang, I remember another teacher came into our room and told her to turn on CNN. All of our 11 year old eyes were watching the first tower falling over and over again. There were some kids crying and some kids just scared to death. I remember a whole bunch of the students were picked up early that day. I wasn't--I was at school the whole day, watching the second tower being hit and then the Pentagon. I remember thinking we were in trouble and I just didn't understand why such a tragic event was happening.

I walked home alone that day. I walked really fast because I was scared and wanted to go home and see my mom. When I got home, my mom had CNN on and I gave her a big hug. Amanda came home and we all watched TV for a long time. They kept saying "terrorists" attacked. I couldn't grasp what that meant and why anyone would do that to our country. To our people. I kept singing Amazing Grace and I prayed that God would help all of those people who were hurt. I also prayed for peace for the families that lost their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands, etc. in this ugly act.

I personally did not have any family members that were there on that day, but I remember friends who did. I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache of the families who lost loved ones that day.

There was also a spike in the number of people joining the military after 9/11. I have many friends from High School  who joined the military, which to me, is incredibly brave. I don't think I could ever be that girl, I'm not brave enough. Those in the military are a blessing to our country. We are protected by their bravery and their love for America.

I pray that the families of those lost have found peace or do find peace. I pray that we never forget the bravery and the love of those who came together on that day. I am thankful for all of those who responded that day. I am thankful for the love and courage shown by our country afterwards. I pray that each man and woman currently serving in the military knows just how important they are to our country. We are Americans. God Bless America.

I will never forget. I am proud to be an American. I love this country. Thank you to all of the men and woman who have made life so possible. Thank you for showing your love. You will always be remembered.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?