Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself...

I think it's incredibly unfortunate what kind of power your past has over you. No matter how far you've come and how much better of place you are in, your past can still whisper your name causing you to fall back into those old traps.

As I've said before, everyone has baggage. Whether it be something like someone stealing your pen in third grade or losing your parent to a disease, it has effected you. Everyone has different baggage-something you've been through may not be as "big" as someone else's problem, but it has still changed you. We become so used to being independent and not relying on those around us because we're afraid of losing someone or being hurt, but we push out all those who care about us when we do so.

When I was a Senior in High School, I was in the musical Annie. A friend of mine played the role of FDR and the thing I remember most about the entire musical was one line that he spoke-"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." I'm reminded of these profound words so often in my life, that I feel I should just paint them on my wall. Fear is a nasty virus that is not only contagious, it is deadly. Fear stops us from doing not only the really hard things, but even the small stuff like saying hi to someone or  making eye contact with a stranger. It reminds us of the baggage we carry and causes us to feel so horrible, that we stick to ourselves so that there is no risk of someone else hurting us.

The thing about our past is that it will always be a part of us. We can never just cut it out of our lives. We can forgive, but forgetting is one of those tricky things. We may forget about something for a while but in an instant, it comes rushing back to remind us of the hell we've faced. Every time we fall back into the trap it sets for us, we lose. When we succumb to its power, we're selling ourselves short. We've already suffered the tragedies, why relive it every day?

Our past does not have to control our lives. A past is just that-it's in the past! You are still going to find beautiful things in the world that bring you happiness and love. When you fear everything, you're not giving yourself the wonderful opportunity of being happy. Remember the last time you were just so happy you couldn't help yourself-not the people you were with or the place you were at, just the feeling of happiness. Let that be the fuel for your fire. Happiness is worth a risk.

Don't live in fear, live in hope.

Book Club?

I love to read. Plain and simple.
Ever since I was old enough to read, I've enjoyed it. When I was younger, we had a Sega Saturn-which was cool. My mom had a rule though-for every hour of playing, we had to read for an hour. And, you couldn't use a bank of hours, haha. For instance, if I read for 4 hours today, she wouldn't just let me play for 4 hours straight. Point being, reading was an incentive which then became a hobby.

Maybe the love of reading resulted from the fact that we only ever had a Sega Saturn and that after it broke, we didn't have another video gaming option. Anyway, you get the point that I just love to read.
In high school I kind of forgot about my love of reading since we were required to read a lot of books that I didn't necessarily care for. But, once I cracked open my copy of 1984 by George Orwell, I was hooked.

I had never really thought about a book club until recently. This is going to a be a total geek Sim moment, but, in the Sims you're character can sign up for a book club--they receive a book every Wednesday and there you go! But, not only did the Sims encourage me, my dad did. A couple of weeks ago, I drove to Big Spring and got to see my family. My dad sent me home with three books and said it was a really good series and I should read it. He then said something about him being in a book club and that it was the best way to get books cheaper.

Also, Pandora (which I listen to every morning when I'm getting ready) always shoots the ad out that says, "the best place to start a book club is with the book So You Want to Start a Book Club?" I've made the decision that I want to start a book club. I love to read and I love to talk about books--yes, I'm a nerd. I'm okay with that.

I'm excited about my idea and I'm not sure where it's going, but, I'm going to start a book club. Go me.