Cancer

In the last year, too many people that  I love have passed due to cancer. In September alone, I lost two very dear family members because of this disease. Cancer is everywhere and it is striking whoever and wherever it wants. To say that I'm frustrated is an understatement.

On November 5th, we will be remembering a beloved man, Randy Clinton. He was such a blessing to me and my family. He was only in my life for ten years, but for those ten years, memories were created that I will never forget. From the bright yellow shirt that he wore to his bug eyed face that he made, he will never be forgotten. One post in my blog is not enough to contribute to this man. His love for life and for people, but mostly for God was incredibly inspiring. The way he loved me even though I wasn't his own gave me hope. I was a witness of what a real man, a good man, was. I miss something different about him almost every day, but I feel him in my heart.
One thing that Randy said during his battle with cancer was that if God's purpose for his life had already been fulfilled, then he was ready to be with God-to go home. That's something I have not yet been able to grasp. It makes sense, of course, but I'm a selfish woman. I don't like letting go, I don't like saying goodbye. I hate the fact that I put up so much resistance when he started dating my mother. I hate the fact that it took me so long to see how good of a man he really was. I love the fact that he never stopped caring about me or loving me, even when I didn't want it, when I was trying to be a hardass.

I had never seen my mother happier, even when they were irritated with each other, it was always better than the memories of her without Randy. He brought out the best in her, and the most humorous version of her. She became a different person to me. I was finally able to really see the blessings bestowed upon me. For once in my life, she finally got to be just the mother, not the father too. I remember the day they got married--it was a very scary day for me. I grew up without a father figure, really, and I didn't want to admit that I needed one. We were always giving each other a hard time, but, he was everything I never had but always wanted. What I always needed.

It's a weird feeling to think he's been gone for an entire year. I can't wait until we meet again.

Is it the Weekend Yet?!

This week has been so long, I can barely remember what day it is or what I did yesterday.
I'm in the third week at my new job and I love it so far, but, I'm tired! I answer phones for the majority of the time I'm at work, so I'm used to thanking people for calling--that is normal for a receptionist, right?

Today, when my cell phone started ringing, I answered it and said, "Thank you for calling," then paused...thought about what the heck I was doing and that I was using my own cell phone, "Emily's phone, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." I pretended to be my very own voicemail. That is so lame! Thankfully it was just some random telemarketer, but really, I laughed for a good ten minutes after that.

I've been helping my sister and her husband with their son, Kyle, a few days out of the week so they don't have to put him in daycare. Let me tell you, I love my nephew more than I thought was ever possible. He is just awesome, so face it!

 Whenever I'm having a pretty bad day, I come hang out with this little guy and, whoosh, I'm better :)
I should find a picture of him where you can see his cloth diapers.  Amanda decided to go green and she ordered cloth diapers and had my mom make cloth wipes and cloth wet bags (to put the dirty diapers in). Now, I was really irritated by the idea because there were just SO many steps to follow to change a dang diaper, but I have to say I have come around to liking them--especially since they're more glamorous than normal diapers. The only down side is...his bottom half looks four times bigger than his whole body because it's a lot of cushion, but, he's still my favorite.

I'm actually very proud of Amanda and Chris for sticking with this green thing, it's tough and at the end of a hard day, I would probably cave and pull out the disposable diapers, but they stick to their laundry and cloth diapers. To tell you the truth, I'm just proud of them for the parents they are. He's almost 3 months old (OH MY GOODNESS) and they've been such a great team and it has been a pleasure to see. Kyle has been the best thing that has happened to our family since Randy passed away in November.  He has brightened all of our lives, more than I think he will ever understand. I believe that Randy is Kyle's guardian angel and that's why he has done so great, especially after his surgery. I also think that's why Kyle is already on the verge of laughing and that he makes crazy eyes--those were the most memorable things about Randy for me. I know Randy is with us and this baby will know him, because, we'll talk about him all the time. I thank God for this miracle every day.

I could obviously talk about Kyle all night, but since I have to watch him in the morning, that's all for now!

Random Vinegar Fact # 2: Stop insect stings and bites from itching by dabbing them with a cotton ball saturated with white distilled vinegar. Watch out for West Nile my friends--confirmed death this morning.