On Friday, my dad's grandmother Gordie passed away. She was 93 years old and lived a great long life. I was very eager to hear about the plans for the information about the service so that I could make arrangements. My dad and his entire family live in West Texas (Big Spring), so it would be great to see everyone and to celebrate her life. My dad let me know on Sunday night that the funeral would be on Monday at 2. That was not what I was expecting, but I was off Monday, so I decided I would go. My mom made me go to bed at a decent hour so I wouldn't be falling asleep on the way there.
I left at 7:15 AM yesterday on my 4 1/2 - 5 hour drive to middle-of-nowhere Big Spring, Texas. Of course, I got some Starbucks before I left :) Coffee is a life saver. I made extremely good time at almost exactly 4 1/2 hours. I changed and met up with my family--I hadn't seen that side of the family for about a year (some even longer) and I was excited to fellowship with them. We all headed over to the funeral home to gather together before the service. My great grandmother looked so peaceful and it made me glad that she is in a better place. My grandma asked me to sing for the family, so I sang Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin. It's crazy, I've been singing in front of them for years and I still get nervous, especially yesterday.
After we all met at the funeral home, we went to the graveside for the service. It was very short and sweet (grandma said that's the way she would have wanted it). My dad, two uncles and my grandma sang Victory in Jesus and it was delightful. It's as if she was in the room celebrating her own life. It was so wonderful. Now, I don't have many memories of my great grandmother, but hearing everything about her, I wish I had more. She was an awesome woman and her faith in Christ is inspiring. Heaven was definitely celebrating because they got an awesome new member :) I'm so glad I was able to make it!
I then, drove back home after the funeral. NINE HOURS IN ONE DAY. It's not that big of a deal, but needless to say, I was tired when I got home. It was such a fabulous day. God has blessed me in so many ways, and I am awed in a new way every day.
Amazing grace,
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me?
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
My chains are gone,
I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word, my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
My chains are gone,
I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine.
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
Will be forever mine.
You are forever mine.
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Saturday, November 10, 2012
One Day in the Dillard's Parking Lot...
Last week, I went to church for the first time in a long while. I couldn't put off going to church one more week. So, since it was daylight savings and all, I went to bed early and got up to go to the early bird service! I was pretty proud of myself.
Once I got to church, I sat about midway back. The music started to play and I was having a good time. Then, of course, the awkward church meet and greet took place. I'm already an awkward person so this made it much more awkward for me. I was ready to sit down and take notes! I did just that.
Although I believe that mission work is really important, I don't think we must go to a foreign place to do mission work. San Antonio has plenty of people to reach in the midst of our daily routines. Our purpose on earth is to do God's work in all that we do. The pastor kept asking, "what's your story?" It made me really think back to when I accepted Christ and how it happened. He also asked where we could share our stories. He wanted each of us to turn to our neighbor and tell them where our one place we knew we could share our story was...I just drew a blank. I sat there trying to figure out a place to say, but couldn't think of anything. Thankfully, no one turned to me.
Later that week, I was sitting at work (I'm a receptionist at a massage clinic) talking to a few coworkers and my story came up. I couldn't help but smile because obviously, God knew where I would be able to share my story. This is my story:
When I was a little girl, my grandparents would pick me up on the weekends and take me to church on Sundays with them. They lived 30 minutes away from my house in a small town with an even smaller baptist church. I went to Vacation Bible School every summer and loved going to church. When I was eight years old, I remember I stayed with my grandparents the entire week so I wouldn't miss VBS. Each night at worship, they'd have their invitation, but I just thought deciding that Jesus was my lord and savior would be something I'd have to ask my mother for permission for. So, I left VBS a non Christian. A short time after VBS had ended, my grandparents were going to take me home, but had to stop at the mall first, so Grandma could buy something at Dillard's.
It was pouring down rain, so Paw-Paw dropped her off at the door and we drove around and parked. He asked me what I thought of VBS. I remember telling him I thought VBS was really cool and that Jesus seemed like a cool guy. He told me more about Jesus while we waited for Grandma. I was so intrigued and so excited to hear more about him that I couldn't stop listening. When he asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my lord and savior, I told him I had to ask mom first. He assured me, she would be joyous about my decision. I decided he was probably right and I prayed the prayer right there with my Paw Paw while it was pouring down rain in the Dillard's parking lot.
That story seems silly, but it means so much to me. My paw-paw also had the chance to baptize me in our small baptist church, which is a really cool memory. He has been with me on this journey of faith since the beginning and to me, that's priceless. He shared his story with me 14 years ago that led me to make the best decision I've ever made. Woah.
It really made me proud to tell my story this week. I have many more stories of how my relationship with God and my faith in God have taken me to where I am today that I'm eager to share. I'm proud to be a child of God and a follower of Christ.
And if our God is for us,
then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us,
then what could stand against?
Once I got to church, I sat about midway back. The music started to play and I was having a good time. Then, of course, the awkward church meet and greet took place. I'm already an awkward person so this made it much more awkward for me. I was ready to sit down and take notes! I did just that.
Although I believe that mission work is really important, I don't think we must go to a foreign place to do mission work. San Antonio has plenty of people to reach in the midst of our daily routines. Our purpose on earth is to do God's work in all that we do. The pastor kept asking, "what's your story?" It made me really think back to when I accepted Christ and how it happened. He also asked where we could share our stories. He wanted each of us to turn to our neighbor and tell them where our one place we knew we could share our story was...I just drew a blank. I sat there trying to figure out a place to say, but couldn't think of anything. Thankfully, no one turned to me.
Later that week, I was sitting at work (I'm a receptionist at a massage clinic) talking to a few coworkers and my story came up. I couldn't help but smile because obviously, God knew where I would be able to share my story. This is my story:
When I was a little girl, my grandparents would pick me up on the weekends and take me to church on Sundays with them. They lived 30 minutes away from my house in a small town with an even smaller baptist church. I went to Vacation Bible School every summer and loved going to church. When I was eight years old, I remember I stayed with my grandparents the entire week so I wouldn't miss VBS. Each night at worship, they'd have their invitation, but I just thought deciding that Jesus was my lord and savior would be something I'd have to ask my mother for permission for. So, I left VBS a non Christian. A short time after VBS had ended, my grandparents were going to take me home, but had to stop at the mall first, so Grandma could buy something at Dillard's.
It was pouring down rain, so Paw-Paw dropped her off at the door and we drove around and parked. He asked me what I thought of VBS. I remember telling him I thought VBS was really cool and that Jesus seemed like a cool guy. He told me more about Jesus while we waited for Grandma. I was so intrigued and so excited to hear more about him that I couldn't stop listening. When he asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my lord and savior, I told him I had to ask mom first. He assured me, she would be joyous about my decision. I decided he was probably right and I prayed the prayer right there with my Paw Paw while it was pouring down rain in the Dillard's parking lot.
That story seems silly, but it means so much to me. My paw-paw also had the chance to baptize me in our small baptist church, which is a really cool memory. He has been with me on this journey of faith since the beginning and to me, that's priceless. He shared his story with me 14 years ago that led me to make the best decision I've ever made. Woah.
It really made me proud to tell my story this week. I have many more stories of how my relationship with God and my faith in God have taken me to where I am today that I'm eager to share. I'm proud to be a child of God and a follower of Christ.
And if our God is for us,
then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us,
then what could stand against?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
End of the Year Business
Tomorrow is Halloween.
Once Halloween hits, the rest of the year flies by so very quickly.
23 days until Thanksgiving.
43 days until my 23rd Birthday.
54 days until my best friend comes home!!
56 days until Christmas.
Woah. 2013, here we come.
Although Easter is my favorite holiday, I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mom's entire immediate family lives within thirty minutes of me, so I see them quite frequently, but it's so wonderful to have all of us together to EAT and enjoy each other's presence. (That was an extremely long sentence with way too many commas)
Every person makes their "signature dish" and there is an overload of food. Can I tell you just how excited I am to make green bean casserole, pink stuff AND apple pie? Also, my mother makes THE BEST mashed potatoes and deviled eggs. Be jealous. I would be if I had to miss out on all that awesomeness.
This post is not supposed to be about food, but I'm now craving Thanksgiving food.
Anyhow.
The reason I really love Thanksgiving is because it's the time of year when everyone gets sentimental and remembers what they're thankful for. Although we are able to be thankful year round, we use the one day of the year to really be thankful. It brings people back together and relationships are mended. I love it mostly for the fellowship with family and the annual Cowboys football game. I don't care if you're a fan of the Cowboys, just know that I am. I don't care if they lose more than they win--when you're a fan- it means through the good AND the bad.
My 23rd birthday. I feel like after you turn 21 and until you turn 30, you're kind of just acknowledging your birthdays rather than celebrating them. It's not a "milestone" so why get all excited?
My favorite part about birthdays is that my mother (who is my biggest fan) leaves me an opera style happy birthday message on my cell EVERY year. It started when I was a Freshman in college because I had to sing classically in school as a requirement and she found that humorous--therefore mocking me. That very first message became so popular that she does it for me every year. I know not to answer my phone on my birthday, because she cannot sing it if it's not a voicemail--she'll laugh too hard. It's the little things that make it worth while!
I share the same birthday as Frank Sinatra. I would like to attribute my talent to him--so thanks Mr. Oh-so-wonderful-jazz-musician. :)
The only not-so-great thing about my birthday being 13 days before Christmas is that when people give me gifts, they're combined with Christmas presents. (that sounds incredibly selfish, but it used to be a big deal). My sister has a birthday in September...I don't give her a joint present because that's just dumb. I never got a pool party, so give me a present for both, even if it's just a pencil. Something to acknowledge that I was born the same month as Jesus Christ. :-)
I'm really not that greedy, haha. Take that as you will.
Kathryn comes home in 54 days. That may seem creepy that I'm counting the days, but you don't understand. I saw Kathryn on a very frequent basis and these last three months have been incredibly difficult without her. I remember when she dropped me off at the airport and I was about to go to my gate and I lost it. I know I can call her any time and she'll be back and I can visit..but, it's not the same. I drive by her old subdivision and I almost always break down crying. She's my person. Boyfriends can come and go and normal friends are nice, but she's the one person I know I can tell everything to and she still wants to be around. When she comes back, we're going to see Les Miz!! WOOOOOO HOOOOO. Sorry, I'm really excited.
We always give each other the funniest gifts at Christmas. She knows I love Jesus, so she always buys me "Christian gifts" and is so proud when I love them. I always get her something with penguins, because she is obsessed with them. I wish I could give her tabogganning lessons for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I'm extremely excited for her to come home for like a week. :D
That brings us to my second favorite holiday. CHRISTMAS!
This holiday is very sentimental for me. I love church. It doesn't matter which church I go to for the annual Christmas Eve service, it's the fact that I can go anywhere and the same message is being preached. I love hearing about the birth of Christ, it's a beautiful story. I cry every time I hear it.
Also, every Christmas Eve, my mom, my sister and her husband (now my nephew :D) go to my house and open ONE present before bed. It's one of those traditions that you don't really know why you do it, but would be sad if you didn't. When we were kids, we could only pick the smallest present. Now, it doesn't matter because we're adults.
My favorite thing about Christmas (other than Jesus being born) is that feeling when you wake up and you rush out of bed and you're thinking "Oh my gosh, it's Christmas!"
I think of the scene from the original Yours, Mine and Ours when Philip runs through the house yelling "Santa Claus's been here." It's just exciting.
Even when Christmas isn't as "big" as normal, my family has a way of just being together and that being enough. That's my greatest joy.
Family.
People must think I'm strange. I see my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) more than twice a year. More like a million times a year. I can't even begin to think of how awful it would be to have to live more than thirty minutes away to see someone I love. I know people do it all the time and all, but, I love my family. When I was growing up and my single mother worked all the time to provide, the family just kind of came together and took care of us. It's not because they had to, it's because we're family, it's a natural reflex.
I'm so excited for the next couple of months because I get to see my entire family all together. I have incredibly blessed with the family I was given.
Even though I've faced many terrible experiences, the love of my family and of my God keeps me going constantly. I was given a perfect picture of love. We as a family are not perfect, but the imperfections make my life as close as it could be.
Let's end this year on a good note y'all :D
Get ready for the Christmas decorations and crazy shoppers...AND CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO!!
Once Halloween hits, the rest of the year flies by so very quickly.
23 days until Thanksgiving.
43 days until my 23rd Birthday.
54 days until my best friend comes home!!
56 days until Christmas.
Woah. 2013, here we come.
Although Easter is my favorite holiday, I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mom's entire immediate family lives within thirty minutes of me, so I see them quite frequently, but it's so wonderful to have all of us together to EAT and enjoy each other's presence. (That was an extremely long sentence with way too many commas)
Every person makes their "signature dish" and there is an overload of food. Can I tell you just how excited I am to make green bean casserole, pink stuff AND apple pie? Also, my mother makes THE BEST mashed potatoes and deviled eggs. Be jealous. I would be if I had to miss out on all that awesomeness.
This post is not supposed to be about food, but I'm now craving Thanksgiving food.
Anyhow.
The reason I really love Thanksgiving is because it's the time of year when everyone gets sentimental and remembers what they're thankful for. Although we are able to be thankful year round, we use the one day of the year to really be thankful. It brings people back together and relationships are mended. I love it mostly for the fellowship with family and the annual Cowboys football game. I don't care if you're a fan of the Cowboys, just know that I am. I don't care if they lose more than they win--when you're a fan- it means through the good AND the bad.
My 23rd birthday. I feel like after you turn 21 and until you turn 30, you're kind of just acknowledging your birthdays rather than celebrating them. It's not a "milestone" so why get all excited?
My favorite part about birthdays is that my mother (who is my biggest fan) leaves me an opera style happy birthday message on my cell EVERY year. It started when I was a Freshman in college because I had to sing classically in school as a requirement and she found that humorous--therefore mocking me. That very first message became so popular that she does it for me every year. I know not to answer my phone on my birthday, because she cannot sing it if it's not a voicemail--she'll laugh too hard. It's the little things that make it worth while!
I share the same birthday as Frank Sinatra. I would like to attribute my talent to him--so thanks Mr. Oh-so-wonderful-jazz-musician. :)
The only not-so-great thing about my birthday being 13 days before Christmas is that when people give me gifts, they're combined with Christmas presents. (that sounds incredibly selfish, but it used to be a big deal). My sister has a birthday in September...I don't give her a joint present because that's just dumb. I never got a pool party, so give me a present for both, even if it's just a pencil. Something to acknowledge that I was born the same month as Jesus Christ. :-)
I'm really not that greedy, haha. Take that as you will.
Kathryn comes home in 54 days. That may seem creepy that I'm counting the days, but you don't understand. I saw Kathryn on a very frequent basis and these last three months have been incredibly difficult without her. I remember when she dropped me off at the airport and I was about to go to my gate and I lost it. I know I can call her any time and she'll be back and I can visit..but, it's not the same. I drive by her old subdivision and I almost always break down crying. She's my person. Boyfriends can come and go and normal friends are nice, but she's the one person I know I can tell everything to and she still wants to be around. When she comes back, we're going to see Les Miz!! WOOOOOO HOOOOO. Sorry, I'm really excited.
We always give each other the funniest gifts at Christmas. She knows I love Jesus, so she always buys me "Christian gifts" and is so proud when I love them. I always get her something with penguins, because she is obsessed with them. I wish I could give her tabogganning lessons for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I'm extremely excited for her to come home for like a week. :D
That brings us to my second favorite holiday. CHRISTMAS!
This holiday is very sentimental for me. I love church. It doesn't matter which church I go to for the annual Christmas Eve service, it's the fact that I can go anywhere and the same message is being preached. I love hearing about the birth of Christ, it's a beautiful story. I cry every time I hear it.
Also, every Christmas Eve, my mom, my sister and her husband (now my nephew :D) go to my house and open ONE present before bed. It's one of those traditions that you don't really know why you do it, but would be sad if you didn't. When we were kids, we could only pick the smallest present. Now, it doesn't matter because we're adults.
My favorite thing about Christmas (other than Jesus being born) is that feeling when you wake up and you rush out of bed and you're thinking "Oh my gosh, it's Christmas!"
I think of the scene from the original Yours, Mine and Ours when Philip runs through the house yelling "Santa Claus's been here." It's just exciting.
Even when Christmas isn't as "big" as normal, my family has a way of just being together and that being enough. That's my greatest joy.
Family.
People must think I'm strange. I see my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) more than twice a year. More like a million times a year. I can't even begin to think of how awful it would be to have to live more than thirty minutes away to see someone I love. I know people do it all the time and all, but, I love my family. When I was growing up and my single mother worked all the time to provide, the family just kind of came together and took care of us. It's not because they had to, it's because we're family, it's a natural reflex.
I'm so excited for the next couple of months because I get to see my entire family all together. I have incredibly blessed with the family I was given.
Even though I've faced many terrible experiences, the love of my family and of my God keeps me going constantly. I was given a perfect picture of love. We as a family are not perfect, but the imperfections make my life as close as it could be.
Let's end this year on a good note y'all :D
Get ready for the Christmas decorations and crazy shoppers...AND CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO!!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Cancer
In the last year, too many people that I love have passed due to cancer. In September alone, I lost two very dear family members because of this disease. Cancer is everywhere and it is striking whoever and wherever it wants. To say that I'm frustrated is an understatement.
On November 5th, we will be remembering a beloved man, Randy Clinton. He was such a blessing to me and my family. He was only in my life for ten years, but for those ten years, memories were created that I will never forget. From the bright yellow shirt that he wore to his bug eyed face that he made, he will never be forgotten. One post in my blog is not enough to contribute to this man. His love for life and for people, but mostly for God was incredibly inspiring. The way he loved me even though I wasn't his own gave me hope. I was a witness of what a real man, a good man, was. I miss something different about him almost every day, but I feel him in my heart.
One thing that Randy said during his battle with cancer was that if God's purpose for his life had already been fulfilled, then he was ready to be with God-to go home. That's something I have not yet been able to grasp. It makes sense, of course, but I'm a selfish woman. I don't like letting go, I don't like saying goodbye. I hate the fact that I put up so much resistance when he started dating my mother. I hate the fact that it took me so long to see how good of a man he really was. I love the fact that he never stopped caring about me or loving me, even when I didn't want it, when I was trying to be a hardass.
I had never seen my mother happier, even when they were irritated with each other, it was always better than the memories of her without Randy. He brought out the best in her, and the most humorous version of her. She became a different person to me. I was finally able to really see the blessings bestowed upon me. For once in my life, she finally got to be just the mother, not the father too. I remember the day they got married--it was a very scary day for me. I grew up without a father figure, really, and I didn't want to admit that I needed one. We were always giving each other a hard time, but, he was everything I never had but always wanted. What I always needed.
It's a weird feeling to think he's been gone for an entire year. I can't wait until we meet again.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover
We've all heard this a million times, "It's not what's on the outside that matters." I've never truly paid attention to that phrase until recently. Sure, we all do it. We people watch. Why else do you think People of Walmart is such a great success? Instant judgement at the ready. I had gotten into the habit of simply looking at other people and ruling them out as ugly, losers, too pretty, d-bag, etc.
It's a terrible habit. But, we all do it.
Whether or not you're aware of it, you judge people the instant you see them.
Why?
We are insecure about ourselves.
BINGO.
I went out with a few people last night and I really realized how often I make assumptions about people--their motives, looks, attitudes, etc. I took a step back and decided to really try not to assume things about other people. I took myself out of the driver's seat, I gave up my control. It was awesome. When you let your guard down, you really do benefit, for the most part. You allow other people to get to know you and it's a beautiful thing. That sounds really corny, but, life is too short to have a personal vendetta against the world.
A friend of mine sent me a text that I really needed to read:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."
It's a terrible habit. But, we all do it.
Whether or not you're aware of it, you judge people the instant you see them.
Why?
We are insecure about ourselves.
BINGO.
I went out with a few people last night and I really realized how often I make assumptions about people--their motives, looks, attitudes, etc. I took a step back and decided to really try not to assume things about other people. I took myself out of the driver's seat, I gave up my control. It was awesome. When you let your guard down, you really do benefit, for the most part. You allow other people to get to know you and it's a beautiful thing. That sounds really corny, but, life is too short to have a personal vendetta against the world.
A friend of mine sent me a text that I really needed to read:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."
Woah. Those are the most powerful words I've heard in a long time. I get angry because I have never received apologies for what people have said or done to hurt me, but I'm not hurting them by holding a grudge, I'm hurting myself. It's not an easy thing to just get over those things, but, it's okay to be down in the slumps sometimes, rather than just being angry all the time.
Like I've said many times before, no one is perfect. That's a really hard concept to grasp. When you look in the mirror and critique yourself, hatred comes out in its purest form. It's easy to pull yourself apart. But, when others complain that their clothes are too tight, you pull ever beautiful compliment you can muster up from the depth of your heart. Why is it so much easier to compliment others, when you deserve the compliments as well?
I have a goal on my 101/1001 list to make a list of 20 things I like about myself and post them on my mirror so I can see them every day when getting ready. I'm addicted to colorful pens and sticky notes, so I'm going to attack that task tomorrow. Maybe, if you read and repeat something every day, you'll really start believing it. I will let you know how that works out for me!
The risk of letting your guard down is worth it for the few good outcomes that may happen. If you get knocked down, just get back up again.
It's worth making mistakes to better your life. Mistakes only happen once, if they happen frequently, they're choices. You know what is good for you and what is not good for you. You can't control everything. So, let someone else take control/lead for a change.
Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
You're so mean,
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.
So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try,
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
You're so mean,
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.
So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try,
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
September 11-Remembering the Tragedy
Last night, I was watching TV and a few 9/11 specials came on--the ones that come on every year, but are just as effective each year as they were the first year they were broadcast. It made me really think about this day 11 years ago. Where was I when the world stopped turning?
11 years ago, I was in sixth grade at Zachary Middle School sitting in Ms. Gray's History class. I remember walking in and taking my seat. Something that day was different. Ms. Gray was white faced and not as excited to see our class as normal. As soon as the bell rang, I remember another teacher came into our room and told her to turn on CNN. All of our 11 year old eyes were watching the first tower falling over and over again. There were some kids crying and some kids just scared to death. I remember a whole bunch of the students were picked up early that day. I wasn't--I was at school the whole day, watching the second tower being hit and then the Pentagon. I remember thinking we were in trouble and I just didn't understand why such a tragic event was happening.
I walked home alone that day. I walked really fast because I was scared and wanted to go home and see my mom. When I got home, my mom had CNN on and I gave her a big hug. Amanda came home and we all watched TV for a long time. They kept saying "terrorists" attacked. I couldn't grasp what that meant and why anyone would do that to our country. To our people. I kept singing Amazing Grace and I prayed that God would help all of those people who were hurt. I also prayed for peace for the families that lost their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands, etc. in this ugly act.
I personally did not have any family members that were there on that day, but I remember friends who did. I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache of the families who lost loved ones that day.
There was also a spike in the number of people joining the military after 9/11. I have many friends from High School who joined the military, which to me, is incredibly brave. I don't think I could ever be that girl, I'm not brave enough. Those in the military are a blessing to our country. We are protected by their bravery and their love for America.
I pray that the families of those lost have found peace or do find peace. I pray that we never forget the bravery and the love of those who came together on that day. I am thankful for all of those who responded that day. I am thankful for the love and courage shown by our country afterwards. I pray that each man and woman currently serving in the military knows just how important they are to our country. We are Americans. God Bless America.
I will never forget. I am proud to be an American. I love this country. Thank you to all of the men and woman who have made life so possible. Thank you for showing your love. You will always be remembered.
11 years ago, I was in sixth grade at Zachary Middle School sitting in Ms. Gray's History class. I remember walking in and taking my seat. Something that day was different. Ms. Gray was white faced and not as excited to see our class as normal. As soon as the bell rang, I remember another teacher came into our room and told her to turn on CNN. All of our 11 year old eyes were watching the first tower falling over and over again. There were some kids crying and some kids just scared to death. I remember a whole bunch of the students were picked up early that day. I wasn't--I was at school the whole day, watching the second tower being hit and then the Pentagon. I remember thinking we were in trouble and I just didn't understand why such a tragic event was happening.
I walked home alone that day. I walked really fast because I was scared and wanted to go home and see my mom. When I got home, my mom had CNN on and I gave her a big hug. Amanda came home and we all watched TV for a long time. They kept saying "terrorists" attacked. I couldn't grasp what that meant and why anyone would do that to our country. To our people. I kept singing Amazing Grace and I prayed that God would help all of those people who were hurt. I also prayed for peace for the families that lost their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands, etc. in this ugly act.
I personally did not have any family members that were there on that day, but I remember friends who did. I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache of the families who lost loved ones that day.
There was also a spike in the number of people joining the military after 9/11. I have many friends from High School who joined the military, which to me, is incredibly brave. I don't think I could ever be that girl, I'm not brave enough. Those in the military are a blessing to our country. We are protected by their bravery and their love for America.
I pray that the families of those lost have found peace or do find peace. I pray that we never forget the bravery and the love of those who came together on that day. I am thankful for all of those who responded that day. I am thankful for the love and courage shown by our country afterwards. I pray that each man and woman currently serving in the military knows just how important they are to our country. We are Americans. God Bless America.
I will never forget. I am proud to be an American. I love this country. Thank you to all of the men and woman who have made life so possible. Thank you for showing your love. You will always be remembered.
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Boxes and Boxes of Memories
I'm a big fan of to-do lists--they help me visualize what needs to get done and then I feel so accomplished once I complete the tasks. This morning, I got up and made to-do list for the week:
- Unpack all the boxes I brought home from the apartment
- Send a card to a friend
- Consolidate files into file cabinet/fewer containers
- Finish Defensive Driving (yes, still on that)
- Alphabetize and File all sheet music
- Make Garlic Parmesan Baked Chicken Breasts
I didn't want to overload my week with too many things, so I stuck to those six. Well, I unpacked all of the boxes today (it was my day off) and threw out a whole bunch of stuff. I like to hold on to things that have sentimental value. When I was going through things today, there were things I had no idea what the sentimental value must have been, so I tossed it. I got rid of a whole bunch of letters from those I don't talk to anymore and really got my things organized. I did find a lot of yearbooks, pictures and little things that made my day so much better. You realize how far you've come once you've been removed from certain situations. Good day. My mom gave me her filing cabinet to store all of my stuff. I didn't realize how many things I've collected over the years at UTSA but I have so many teacher resources that I just feel like I need to keep--they could be really helpful when I get a job teaching (fingers crossed). So, I put each binder full of stuff for each class into manila folders (I used to think they were called vanilla folders) and stored them in the cabinet. Then, I organized the school books I want to save and stored them in a container next to the cabinet. That may sound really fun and fast, but it took a good 3 or 4 hours. Everything is labeled and can be accessed easily. Go me.
I also sent out a card to an old friend today. She and I haven't spoken in two years, so I sent her a "thinking of you" card. I have about 6 boxes of cards that I need to use, so, done. I did actually do some defensive driving today. I only have one module left and I will do that tomorrow after I get home from watching Kylie Poo.
For the past 4 or 5 hours, I've been sorting all of my music into letter piles (A-Z) then alphabetizing each letter pile so that all my sheet music is in alphabetical order. I started inputting all the information for each piece into an excel file. I'm only on F. I have way too much music. I guess that's a good thing for my future teaching career but, for real, too much music. I don't remember how I got so much of it, but hey, music is music. So, I have a feeling it will take me a good 2 days to get the rest of it all done and then I can rest :)
I will probably try to make the new recipe on Saturday evening since I don't have to work. I don't work Thursday evening, but I have my three hour class (more on that BS later), so I wouldn't be able to start cooking until 9...too late for me.
I feel pretty good about what I've set out to do this week, it's possible. To be honest, I haven't looked at War and Peace again since Friday. I'm kind of dreading it, but I'm going to get myself through this huge book. I feel like my IQ will go up an immense amount if I finish that book. I have to mentally prepare, make time to read.
I've been thinking of other things to post about that are semi-interesting and for now, I'm not sure of what I'll be posting about. My friend Brooke is going to do something about politics and I'm just so irritated with all that stuff right now, that I won't be stealing her idea :) I'll figure something out!
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