Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

We've all heard this a million times, "It's not what's on the outside that matters." I've never truly paid attention to that phrase until recently. Sure, we all do it. We people watch. Why else do you think People of Walmart is such a great success? Instant judgement at the ready. I had gotten into the habit of simply looking at other people and ruling them out as ugly, losers, too pretty, d-bag, etc.

It's a terrible habit. But, we all do it.
Whether or not you're aware of it, you judge people the instant you see them.
Why?
We are insecure about ourselves.
BINGO.

I went out with a few people last night and I really realized how often I make assumptions about people--their motives, looks, attitudes, etc. I took a step back and decided to really try not to assume things about other people. I took myself out of the driver's seat, I gave up my control. It was awesome. When you let your guard down, you really do benefit, for the most part. You allow other people to get to know you and it's a beautiful thing. That sounds really corny, but, life is too short to have a personal vendetta against the world.

A friend of mine sent me a text that I really needed to read:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."

Woah. Those are the most powerful words I've heard in a long time. I get angry because I have never received apologies for what people have said or done to hurt me, but I'm not hurting them by holding a grudge, I'm hurting myself. It's not an easy thing to just get over those things, but, it's okay to be down in the slumps sometimes, rather than just being angry all the time. 

Like I've said many times before, no one is perfect. That's a really hard concept to grasp. When you look in the mirror and critique yourself, hatred comes out in its purest form. It's easy to pull yourself apart. But, when others complain that their clothes are too tight, you pull ever beautiful compliment you can muster up from the depth of your heart. Why is it so much easier to compliment others, when you deserve the compliments as well? 

I have a goal on my 101/1001 list to make a list of 20 things I like about myself and post them on my mirror so I can see them every day when getting ready. I'm addicted to colorful pens and sticky notes, so I'm going to attack that task tomorrow. Maybe, if you read and repeat something every day, you'll really start believing it. I will let you know how that works out for me! 

The risk of letting your guard down is worth it for the few good outcomes that may happen. If you get knocked down, just get back up again. 

It's worth making mistakes to better your life. Mistakes only happen once, if they happen frequently, they're choices. You know what is good for you and what is not good for you. You can't control everything. So, let someone else take control/lead for a change. 

Perfect

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

You're so mean, 
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.

So complicated, 
Look happy, You'll make it! 
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear, 
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try, 
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

Boxes and Boxes of Memories

I'm a big fan of to-do lists--they help me visualize what needs to get done and then I feel so accomplished once I complete the tasks. This morning, I got up and made to-do list for the week:

1. Unpack all the boxes I brought home from the apartment
2. Send a card to a friend
3. Consolidate files into file cabinet/fewer containers
4. Finish Defensive Driving (yes, still on that)
5. Alphabetize and File all sheet music
6. Make Garlic Parmesan Baked Chicken Breasts

I didn't want to overload my week with too many things, so I stuck to those six.  Well, I unpacked all of the boxes today (it was my day off) and threw out a whole bunch of stuff. I like to hold on to things that have sentimental value. When I was going through things today, there were things I had no idea what the sentimental value must have been, so I tossed it. I got rid of a whole bunch of letters from those I don't talk to anymore and really got my things organized. I did find a lot of yearbooks, pictures and little things that made my day so much better. You realize how far you've come once you've been removed from certain situations. Good day. My mom gave me her filing cabinet to store all of my stuff. I didn't realize how many things I've collected over the years at UTSA but I have so many teacher resources that I just feel like I need to keep--they could be really helpful when I get a job teaching (fingers crossed). So, I put each binder full of stuff for each class into manila folders (I used to think they were called vanilla folders) and stored them in the cabinet. Then, I organized the school books I want to save and stored them in a container next to the cabinet. That may sound really fun and fast, but it took a good 3 or 4 hours. Everything is labeled and can be accessed easily. Go me. 

I also sent out a card to an old friend today. She and I haven't spoken in two years, so I sent her a "thinking of you" card. I have about 6 boxes of cards that I need to use, so, done. I did actually do some defensive driving today. I only have one module left and I will do that tomorrow after I get home from watching Kylie Poo. 

For the past 4 or 5 hours, I've been sorting all of my music into letter piles (A-Z) then alphabetizing each letter pile so that all my sheet music is in alphabetical order. I started inputting all the information for each piece into an excel file. I'm only on F. I have way too much music. I guess that's a good thing for my future teaching career but, for real, too much music. I don't remember how I got so much of it, but hey, music is music. So, I have a feeling it will take me a good 2 days to get the rest of it all done and then I can rest :)

I will probably try to make the new recipe on Saturday evening since I don't have to work. I don't work Thursday evening, but I have my three hour class (more on that BS later), so I wouldn't be able to start cooking until 9...too late for me. 

I feel pretty good about what I've set out to do this week, it's possible. To be honest, I haven't looked at War and Peace again since Friday. I'm kind of dreading it, but I'm going to get myself through this huge book. I feel like my IQ will go up an immense amount if I finish that book. I have to mentally prepare, make time to read. 

I've been thinking of other things to post about that are semi-interesting and for now, I'm not sure of what I'll be posting about. My friend Brooke is going to do something about politics and I'm just so irritated with all that stuff right now, that I won't be stealing her idea :) I'll figure something out!