Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

We've all heard this a million times, "It's not what's on the outside that matters." I've never truly paid attention to that phrase until recently. Sure, we all do it. We people watch. Why else do you think People of Walmart is such a great success? Instant judgement at the ready. I had gotten into the habit of simply looking at other people and ruling them out as ugly, losers, too pretty, d-bag, etc.

It's a terrible habit. But, we all do it.
Whether or not you're aware of it, you judge people the instant you see them.
Why?
We are insecure about ourselves.
BINGO.

I went out with a few people last night and I really realized how often I make assumptions about people--their motives, looks, attitudes, etc. I took a step back and decided to really try not to assume things about other people. I took myself out of the driver's seat, I gave up my control. It was awesome. When you let your guard down, you really do benefit, for the most part. You allow other people to get to know you and it's a beautiful thing. That sounds really corny, but, life is too short to have a personal vendetta against the world.

A friend of mine sent me a text that I really needed to read:
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."

Woah. Those are the most powerful words I've heard in a long time. I get angry because I have never received apologies for what people have said or done to hurt me, but I'm not hurting them by holding a grudge, I'm hurting myself. It's not an easy thing to just get over those things, but, it's okay to be down in the slumps sometimes, rather than just being angry all the time. 

Like I've said many times before, no one is perfect. That's a really hard concept to grasp. When you look in the mirror and critique yourself, hatred comes out in its purest form. It's easy to pull yourself apart. But, when others complain that their clothes are too tight, you pull ever beautiful compliment you can muster up from the depth of your heart. Why is it so much easier to compliment others, when you deserve the compliments as well? 

I have a goal on my 101/1001 list to make a list of 20 things I like about myself and post them on my mirror so I can see them every day when getting ready. I'm addicted to colorful pens and sticky notes, so I'm going to attack that task tomorrow. Maybe, if you read and repeat something every day, you'll really start believing it. I will let you know how that works out for me! 

The risk of letting your guard down is worth it for the few good outcomes that may happen. If you get knocked down, just get back up again. 

It's worth making mistakes to better your life. Mistakes only happen once, if they happen frequently, they're choices. You know what is good for you and what is not good for you. You can't control everything. So, let someone else take control/lead for a change. 

Perfect

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

You're so mean, 
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.

So complicated, 
Look happy, You'll make it! 
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear, 
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try, 
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than, less than' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

Confidence is a Must

My entire life, I've had trouble with being confident outside of my group of close friends. Once I get to know people, I'm a very confident gal who can hold her own...but in new situations, I am the one waiting to be talked to, all awkward. I find this really funny since I've worked in retail for a good while.

Example of my awkwardness. My mother and sister LOVE to call me out on this too. When ordering food at a restaurant, I usually go last out of whoever I'm with, because I like to let the other people go first (and because sometimes I change my mind on what I want to eat after everyone else orders). When the waiter turns to me and looks at me and asks, "and for you?"I look at them and say "I'll have,"...then almost immediately stare down at the menu and read what I want. It's not because I have forgotten the name of what I want, it's because I am a very awkward person. I've been working on it for a while, haha.

I realized just how unconfident I am in myself on Tuesday when I was in my bible study fellowship group discussion. Each week, there is homework to be done for the lesson provided. During the discussion group, you go over the thoughts on the answers and such. I am an awesome homework answerer as in I write a lot, probably too much. But, when the leader asks if anyone found anything interesting, I keep quiet until she calls on me because no one else has answered. Then, I frantically look at the page and try to answer, like I don't know what I put.

I am always afraid of what others will think of my answers, but as I was doing the homework tonight, I realized, I shouldn't care what other people think. We're going over creation theories this week and I know what I believe and am allowed to have an opinion. I can also appreciate the opinions of others, without diminishing my own.

I admire confidence and others. I think it's a must have in interviews, on dates and especially when performing. I judge others for not being confident in themselves, so I should be confident, right?

Goal for October=be confident.

What makes you feel confident and not arrogant? There is a fine line, right? Thoughts? Go.

Old Friends, New Conversations

Last night, I went to Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) with my mom and my sister. We are studying Genesis for the entire school year. It's pretty cool, to me. The speaker was talking about crucial conversations that you will have in your life and how to deal with them. Now, the crucial conversation she was talking about was the conversation about creation. Everyone has their very opinionated views on how the Earth was created, but thankfully, that's not what I'm writing about today. Whew, move on.

But it did make me think of the other crucial conversations that will come up in the next few years and with various people. I think one of the biggest crucial conversations that will ever happen is the life story exchange between two people interested in dating/marrying each other. There is a really funny episode of How I Met Your Mother that I thought nailed this.

Baggage.

Everyone has some type of baggage going into a relationship. You never know when the right time is to share yours. All at once? Little by little? It's a conversation I've been afraid of my entire "dating" life. I was chatting with an old friend about this subject and he reminded me that when it's "the one" the baggage isn't going to break the relationship. I know that's an obvious answer, but...it doesn't click in your brain the first time you hear it.

Until I find Mr. Right, I'm going to keep on living as Emily. Yeah, I've got some baggage and some issues, but who doesn't? If people can't handle it, then, no big deal.

There is still not a perfect time in a dating period to have the crucial life story swap conversation, but, face it--it has to happen. Don't flip out about it. Be cool. Their biggest issue  may be that a girl broke his pencil in the fourth grade. No two people have the same issues. Work to understand instead of judge or be freaked out.

Cinnamon and Nutmeg Facial Mask

I made a friend of mine laugh the other day, showing her my previous post where I did that dumbest gelatin/milk facial ever created. My facial expressions were extremely entertaining apparently. So, I realized I needed to do a facial for the month of September and I decided to use the second simplest recipe--cinnamon and nutmeg. It has three ingredients and won't rip every layer of skin off of my face. Good deal. 

Cinnamon and Nutmeg Facial Mask

1. 2 Tablespoons of Honey
2. 1 teaspoon of Cinnamon 
3. 1 teaspoon of Nutmeg

• Mix ingredients 
• Apply to face
• Let sit for 30 minutes
• Wash with warm water while lightly scrubbing in circular motions
• ****This will make a milk chocolate colored mask, so beware for the dark brown on your face!

It doesn't take long to make and it is super easy to apply. This facial mask is for oily skin and is an exfoliating genius--you can feel that grainy texture as you're applying. A big plus is that it smells delicious! You do have to let it sit for 30 minutes, but that's alright. 

I'm doing this facial at 12:15 AM because I don't want to scare my mother with this brown mask on my face...but I'm sharing it with the internet so I guess the time doesn't really matter! This is clearly not a way to score a date. 

I'm trying to make you laugh in these next photos, so let loose, laugh. 

About halfway through it "sitting," part of it started dripping so I really felt like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire, haha. But the good thing is, although I wouldn't want this as a dessert or anything, it is edible. It doesn't harden on your face, so it's easy to wash off. I vote yes for doing this one again! 

Okay, so it's been thirty minutes and I washed off my mask successfully! It did "burn" a little bit because I was exfoliating my skin, but it came off very easily and then I put some moisturizer on and BAM! This facial was much more successful than the skin ripper last month. This is a face of a happy girl!

Crispy Cheddar Chicken

So earlier in the month, I set out to make four new recipes. One of them, which I was extremely excited about, was Garlic Parmesan oven baked chicken. Well, yesterday, when I had time to make it, I went to the kitchen, got everything out, read the directions and discovered that I could prepare it, but it has to marinate ALL day. Big lesson when cooking/baking...read the recipe beforehand. I was kind of upset because I had to make something else. I went to the recipes board on my Pinterest and found the recipe for Crispy Cheddar Chicken. I read the recipe twice to make sure I had everything and it didn't have to sit all day. Done!

Crispy Cheddar Chicken

This is the picture from my Pinterest board that made me want to make it. Looks so delicious! I'm glad I have leftovers. Well, I took some pictures along the way and, it's a super easy recipe--shall we?

Crispy Cheddar Chicken
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Baking Time: 45 minutes
Makes about 7 servings

What you'll need:

Chicken
4 large chicken breasts
2 sleeves of Ritz crackers
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/8 teaspoon of pepper
1/2 cup of milk
3 cups of cheddar cheese, grated (I used a mix of cheddar and Colby jack...I really like cheese)
1 teaspoon of dried parsley

Sauce
1 10 ounce can of Cream of Chicken soup
2 Tablespoons of sour cream
2 Tablespoons of butter

***I used frozen chicken breasts, so I had to defrost them before starting. And, when you use frozen chicken breasts, there is added water, so it will need to be coated in more of the Ritz cracker mix to be super crispy.

Chicken:

1. Cut each chicken breast into 3 large chunks
2. In a small food processor, grind up the Ritz crackers (If you don't have a food processor or don't like your cracker mix so fine, put the Ritz crackers in a gallon sized Ziploc bag, seal it really tight, lay it on the counter top and roll it with a rolling pin)
3. Pour the milk, cheese and Ritz crackers into 3 separate small pans.
4. Add the salt and pepper to the cracker mix and and mix it up
5. Spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray
6. Dip each piece of chicken in the milk, then the cheese and finally the cracker mix (some cheese will come off in the cracker mix, that's to be expected)
7. Lay chicken in the pan
8. Sprinkle the dried parsley over the chicken
9. Cover pan with foil and bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes
10. Remove foil and bake uncovered for 10 minutes, or until it's golden brown and crispy

Sauce:

In a medium size sauce pan, whisk together the soup, sour cream and butter until hot. 

***I also made HEB's jasmine rice to go along with this. That only takes 15 minutes to cook and it is delicious! I added green onions to the rice to give it more flavor. 

Overall this recipe was DELICIOUS! But, there is a lot of cheese and cracker mix left over at the end. So, if you plan on making this for a big family event, only double the milk, chicken and sauce mixture. The cheese and cracker mix have plenty to do double. I would make extra gravy anyway because I love gravy and put it on my rice and my chicken. Yum-o. 

I'm really glad my first Pinterest recipe was successful. It was super easy and super delicious. Try it!
Also, I'm really excited to put my very first recipe in my brand new recipe binder! Wahoo!

September 11-Remembering the Tragedy

Last night, I was watching TV and a few 9/11 specials came on--the ones that come on every year, but are just as effective each year as they were the first year they were broadcast. It made me really think about this day 11 years ago. Where was I when the world stopped turning?

11 years ago, I was in sixth grade at Zachary Middle School sitting in Ms. Gray's History class. I remember walking in and taking my seat. Something that day was different. Ms. Gray was white faced and not as excited to see our class as normal. As soon as the bell rang, I remember another teacher came into our room and told her to turn on CNN. All of our 11 year old eyes were watching the first tower falling over and over again. There were some kids crying and some kids just scared to death. I remember a whole bunch of the students were picked up early that day. I wasn't--I was at school the whole day, watching the second tower being hit and then the Pentagon. I remember thinking we were in trouble and I just didn't understand why such a tragic event was happening.

I walked home alone that day. I walked really fast because I was scared and wanted to go home and see my mom. When I got home, my mom had CNN on and I gave her a big hug. Amanda came home and we all watched TV for a long time. They kept saying "terrorists" attacked. I couldn't grasp what that meant and why anyone would do that to our country. To our people. I kept singing Amazing Grace and I prayed that God would help all of those people who were hurt. I also prayed for peace for the families that lost their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands, etc. in this ugly act.

I personally did not have any family members that were there on that day, but I remember friends who did. I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache of the families who lost loved ones that day.

There was also a spike in the number of people joining the military after 9/11. I have many friends from High School  who joined the military, which to me, is incredibly brave. I don't think I could ever be that girl, I'm not brave enough. Those in the military are a blessing to our country. We are protected by their bravery and their love for America.

I pray that the families of those lost have found peace or do find peace. I pray that we never forget the bravery and the love of those who came together on that day. I am thankful for all of those who responded that day. I am thankful for the love and courage shown by our country afterwards. I pray that each man and woman currently serving in the military knows just how important they are to our country. We are Americans. God Bless America.

I will never forget. I am proud to be an American. I love this country. Thank you to all of the men and woman who have made life so possible. Thank you for showing your love. You will always be remembered.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? 

Real Women

I've been thinking on what to blog about for the last couple of days and I have been struck with lame ideas and who knows, this post may just be a fluke, but here we are. I was at Target today waiting for Amanda and Chris to pick me up (we were meeting there so that we could go to the family reunion together). I looked in the movie section to see if there were any movies I just had to have...and there were. They had a really good deal today, I bought six movies (good ones) for $30. I bought Step Mom, Twister (the one that has made me afraid of all storms), Miss Congeniality, Hope Floats, Walk the Line and The Other Woman. I had never seen the Other Woman and Natalie Portman was in it, so I decided to get it. I figured, if I didn't like it, I would send it to Kathryn since she loves Natalie Portman.

Tonight, I popped it into my DVD player and decided to give it a shot. It was such a great movie. In no way am I condoning cheating by any means, but it was such a different type of movie, but so good. Real. Not that "the other woman" should really matter right? I don't think that's true. She's still a person. Yes, she shouldn't have slept with your guy, but she did and this movie is about what happens after. Every woman wishes that the other woman would be unhappy, but, it's not like once they get married that they're going to live happily ever after anyway. It was hard to watch because it was so raw and so real.

It made me think, real women have issues. No real woman is perfect, ever. Sorry guys, that's the truth of the matter. I'm not saying that cheating is right, because I despise cheaters, but, we cannot judge others for sinning differently than we do. My mom shared that with me one night and it struck deep. Just a thought. It really made me stop and think about how I judge others and why--because they do things that I think are wrong. BAM.

Back to women. We're not perfect.

Take me, for example. I have had a very interesting life that has molded me shaped me into the woman I am today. My mom and dad divorced when I was a kid and then both of my parents remarried. I didn't have a relationship with my father, really, until I was 20 years old. I grew up in a single parent home until I was 16. I didn't have fancy clothes and I didn't go to church every Sunday. I had some really rough relationships and not so good friendships throughout high school. I have trust issues and can't make eye contact with very many people. I'm weird. Not perfect. All of my close friends have told me that I have such a kind heart and am a beautiful girl. Why is it so hard to believe people when they tell you those things? Because you don't believe it. Women are their own worst critics.
Period. End of story.

Who wants to be perfect? Everyone. Why? I have no idea, because, perfect is pretty boring, if you ask me. That's why we spend our entire lives striving to be perfect, because it isn't attainable. Jesus is the only perfect thing that has ever walked the earth. Everyone can always work on who they are and strive to be a better person, but until you realize no one can be perfect, you'll kill yourself trying.

I'm a real woman who has issues. Yes, they are a work in progress, every day of my life, but I'm a real woman. The world can just get over it and move on.

Don't judge others because they sin differently than you. Best advice I've ever heard.
Here's to being real.

Crazy Guys and Defensive Driving

I'm grumpy and happy at the same time. This day has been one of the weirdest days off that I've had in a while. Aunt Flow is here for the week, so, sorry for the ranting that will likely occur in a few moments. Overall, the day was alright...I'm just glad I'm about to go to bed and it will be over.

I only have one class this semester and it is on Thursday evenings for three hours (lamest class ever). I thought I left early enough to avoid too much traffic, but I was wrong. I was already grumpy but got even grumpier right up until I parked my car at UTSA. After I finally got to school, I had to park...which any Roadrunner knows, is an ordeal of its own. I was driving in the parking lot and almost got to the row I wanted to turn on and this guy pulls out at the last second, almost causing an accident so I honked. Defensive driving says I'm supposed to honk to alert the other driver of danger...and I'm horn happy, so I like using it. This time, it really was because he was going to hit me and I wanted to get the message of "HELLO I'M HERE, DON'T GO WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TIME" to him without him hearing me. So being irritated even more, I parked my car and was getting all of my stuff together to walk to class. I look up and that guy I just honked at was waiting in front of my car staring at me from his car. I was a little freaked out, so I waited a couple of minutes but I was going to be late, so I got out of the car with full intention of ignoring this creeper. He rolls his window down and says, "this is a parking lot, you shouldn't be using your horn, and, slow down." I just gave him a thumbs up and said "Right of way." I wasn't going too fast, he waited until the worst possible time to pull out of his row, almost causing an accident. So, I was heated walking to class and then was just mad the whole class. It didn't help that we talked about nonsense for almost three hours.

When I got home, I decided I needed to finish defensive driving...for real. I was cutting it close. So, I finally finished. at 11 PM. Go me! There were so many things in this course that don't apply to defensive driving in any way. Of course, at the end, I left great feedback because I wanted to hurry up and get my certificate, but I was not satisfied. Next time, I won't go 12 miles over the speed limit.

I got to catch up with a few old friends today, though, so the day was alright. I wouldn't call it good and I wouldn't call it bad. This is probably the lamest post I've posted thus far. I cannot guarantee that it will be the lamest, but for now, it is.

Tomorrow is Friday. Thank God.

Boxes and Boxes of Memories

I'm a big fan of to-do lists--they help me visualize what needs to get done and then I feel so accomplished once I complete the tasks. This morning, I got up and made to-do list for the week:

1. Unpack all the boxes I brought home from the apartment
2. Send a card to a friend
3. Consolidate files into file cabinet/fewer containers
4. Finish Defensive Driving (yes, still on that)
5. Alphabetize and File all sheet music
6. Make Garlic Parmesan Baked Chicken Breasts

I didn't want to overload my week with too many things, so I stuck to those six.  Well, I unpacked all of the boxes today (it was my day off) and threw out a whole bunch of stuff. I like to hold on to things that have sentimental value. When I was going through things today, there were things I had no idea what the sentimental value must have been, so I tossed it. I got rid of a whole bunch of letters from those I don't talk to anymore and really got my things organized. I did find a lot of yearbooks, pictures and little things that made my day so much better. You realize how far you've come once you've been removed from certain situations. Good day. My mom gave me her filing cabinet to store all of my stuff. I didn't realize how many things I've collected over the years at UTSA but I have so many teacher resources that I just feel like I need to keep--they could be really helpful when I get a job teaching (fingers crossed). So, I put each binder full of stuff for each class into manila folders (I used to think they were called vanilla folders) and stored them in the cabinet. Then, I organized the school books I want to save and stored them in a container next to the cabinet. That may sound really fun and fast, but it took a good 3 or 4 hours. Everything is labeled and can be accessed easily. Go me. 

I also sent out a card to an old friend today. She and I haven't spoken in two years, so I sent her a "thinking of you" card. I have about 6 boxes of cards that I need to use, so, done. I did actually do some defensive driving today. I only have one module left and I will do that tomorrow after I get home from watching Kylie Poo. 

For the past 4 or 5 hours, I've been sorting all of my music into letter piles (A-Z) then alphabetizing each letter pile so that all my sheet music is in alphabetical order. I started inputting all the information for each piece into an excel file. I'm only on F. I have way too much music. I guess that's a good thing for my future teaching career but, for real, too much music. I don't remember how I got so much of it, but hey, music is music. So, I have a feeling it will take me a good 2 days to get the rest of it all done and then I can rest :)

I will probably try to make the new recipe on Saturday evening since I don't have to work. I don't work Thursday evening, but I have my three hour class (more on that BS later), so I wouldn't be able to start cooking until 9...too late for me. 

I feel pretty good about what I've set out to do this week, it's possible. To be honest, I haven't looked at War and Peace again since Friday. I'm kind of dreading it, but I'm going to get myself through this huge book. I feel like my IQ will go up an immense amount if I finish that book. I have to mentally prepare, make time to read. 

I've been thinking of other things to post about that are semi-interesting and for now, I'm not sure of what I'll be posting about. My friend Brooke is going to do something about politics and I'm just so irritated with all that stuff right now, that I won't be stealing her idea :) I'll figure something out!